Monday, October 12, 2009
perhaps everyone's right , i shouldnt put my everything into relationships . i'll end up hurting myself . wounds dont heal overnight , especially when it's been left to bleed for so long and no one can stop the bleeding . it really hurts deeply inside . u may not like me go drinking , u may think that im just trying to make u mad . but i'll tell u now , i'm not trying to make u mad . i went to drink . yeah . why ? cause i was feeling really bad . i felt like i wanna shout everything out , i wanna cry everything out . but i cant . i know when i was drinking ytd , i was shouting like mad and crying like some crazy woman . thats really the first time i cried till like that . crying and screaming at the same time . if u think that everything's my fault then so be it bah . previously when i tried to talk to u , u wouldn't even wanna talk . u just brushed me aside and told me there's nth for us to talk about . idk if it's over between us now or not . all i know is , the more i care the more i'll hurt myself . because it seems like u dont care anymore . maybe u care ? i have no idea . u've completely changed . u seem to care at times but other times , its like u just cant be bothered . what am i supposed to do ? what do u want ? what did i do wrong ? i'm confused . the only thing i know is that i needa study for my o lvls . maybe studying will keep my mind off u . i suppose thats the only way bah .
takecare of urself when im not ard u . dont smoke too much and drink more water . u're always coughing till blood come out . maybe it's time for others to takecare of u alr . perhaps i've alr been replaced by someone else in ur heart . im not anyhow thinking , its just a possibility . anyway , just take good care of yourself . those memories we had will stay with me ...
10:50 PM