everytime you leave me alone , my heart breaks once . x/3
friday went chambers wif mingliang and didi . then at night supposed ton with them but i go krislan find my stead then sort of pangseh-ed them . paisehhhh . x.x my hp no batt that day . i thot u all will go in find mi . bee , i doubt u'll be reading my blog anyway . cause you dont have the link . wheres my 1mth present ? D:
baby , you know something ? i slept for only 2hrs . i dont know why . maybe is cause of ytd bah . hais . i just want more care and concern from you . is that too much to ask for ? i just want to know more about you . is that wrong too ? im your girlfriend eys ? u can tell me , so ? since im your girlfriend , why wont you tell me anything ? everytime i ask , u refuse to tell me . hais . i want to know things about you . you are my boyfriend . maybe you think all these are not important . but can you think for me also ? when you dont reply my msges , refuse to pick up my phone , its so hurting inside . you know that cause of you , thats why the blue black is there ? cause u didnt reply my msg , didnt ans my call , i was scared that you would be like my ex , not replying msg , not answering phone calls , and poof ! broke up . i dont want the same thing to happen again . you understand ? i want a long lasting relationship , not those short short ones . im sick of short short relationships . im no longer a hongster , and i hope youre also not 1 alr . or are you still a hongster ? i have no idea .
u gave my kor your word that you wont break up with me . but i dont want to be just your girlfriend in name only . i want to be the 1 whom your heart is with , the 1 whom u can share all your secrets with , the 1 whom you can always go to when youre down and unhappy .ytd , i was so fucked up . i didnt know what is going on . i want to know , but you just dont wanna tell me . so what am i supposed to do ? just act as if nothing happened ? im sorry , i cant . can you treat me like your girlfriend ?
i promised myself i wont cry cause of a guy . again and again , i promised . but again and again , i broke my promise . im so useless . why are those guys that i want to be serious with always make me cry ? when i asked you to promise me you wont do this ever again , u actually said nobody can control you from doing what you want . yeah , youre right , nobody can control you . but why must you do this to me ? why are you treating me like im a nobody to you ?
did i do anything wrong ? if i did , why dont you just tell me ? i rather u tell mi right in my face than like that . bee , i really wonder sometimes , do you still love me ? do you have another girl ? thats why youre treating me this way ? maybe im stupid for thinking this way , maybe you will even be angry at me for not trusting you . but u cant blame me completely right ? the way you talk to me , the way you treat me , its so cold . it really makes me wonder ...
u see me laughing with you , joking ard with you , but do you know deep inside , i have so much questions to ask you ? questions that i know you wont answer at all . but for 1 thing i know for sure , is that i love u and i miss u fucking lot .
im feeling terrible . T.T and bee , u know sth ? the reason why i smoke red de even though i hate it , its cause im stressed up , fucked up , cause of ytd .