Thursday, May 22, 2008

MIA .COM SPOILT . will post when i go lan or ppl's hse . :D loves all .

6:00 PM

dont know what the fuck is wrong . he keep treating me like that . trust him ? maybe i will . cant he have lesser gans ? wth larh . fucking dulan . fucked up . ppl tell me not to get upset cause of a guy . i know how to say ppl , but dont know how to it myself . so contridicting eys ? lols . is he tiongxim to me ? i have no idea . that day he went his gan mei's house cause she broke up wif her stead . go pei her nvm lurh . but at least tell me he going her hse marh . until his friend told me he went to his gan mei hse , i also dont know sia . and he even lied to me saying he want to slp alr . want go girl hse tell me lurh . i wont say anything marh . hais . i want him to care about me , is it so wrong ? isnt it what steads are supposed to be ? D: sms him he reply also reply short short nia . and when i dont msg him , he wont msg me either . wth is this sia . hais . today his off day , he didnt msg me for 1 whole day . he said he want to rest at home today . its okay if he's tired , but at least msg me ? that time when his prepaid low , i msg him even though i know i will get no reply from him . at least he knows i care about him . but me ? i everyday think think think . idk whats wrong . its sad lurh . seriously sad . i confused . what does he want ?? ppl say he's flirt , i chose not to believe them . but now ? even though im trying to trust you , but can u at least give me some things to trust you ? if you continue like that , its difficult for me to trust you you know ? DDDD: i still love you , but do you ? you give me this feeling that you cant be bothered with me anymore . is it like that ? idk . treat me better can marh ? )):

5:51 PM

Monday, May 19, 2008

haiiiiiyahhh . i shall not go see baby's friendster . so many chabors . so many gans somemore . gan po , gan dar , gan dont know what lurh . still ask ppl want be gans anot . dont know want become what gans again . actually wanted give baby comment want , but since he so many chabor comment , so many gans , then forget it lurh . i dont want give alr . D: got stead alr still like that . have gans nvm but at least put a gan in front marh . gan mei dont need lurh . others put a gan in front can anot sia . zzz . im not those kind who dont allow you to have gans , but i dont have so many also lorh . mine all gan kor gan di or girls lai de . yours leh ? haiyah . nvm i dont want cause of this then quarrel with you . )):

2:35 PM

Sunday, May 18, 2008

omg .
i want that red psp ! so chioooooooo ! x.x why cant i be rich ? D: haiyahhhhh . i want it i want it i want it . but its impossible lurh . i know . =.= i want so many things , but alot all only can dream about it nia . lols . ):
my tongue is fucking pain . and i dont know why . hahs .

7:46 PM

long long time no post eys ? my com siao wan . always for nth restart . so will be updating lesser till my com is okay . (:
fucking low blood pressure or low blood count . whatever shit . why must i have it ? fucking irritating lorh . everytime for nth want faint want faint then giddy . hais . hate that feeling lurh . it sucks larh . seriously . then dont know why i very easy get blue black want . abit abit only also can blue black . D:
BABY ! got girl feed you eat again arh , i really go slap her hurh . x.x walaooo . how can like that anyhow feed ppl boyfriend want !@#$%^ hmphx !

7:30 AM

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

i dont feel well . not at all . D: i meant physically .

omggg . i feel sick .
why i feeling so giddy ? T.T want vomit again . omfg lurhhhh . is it at playgrd there bang my head till like that ? arrrrrrrrrrrrr . my head very pain also . stupid lurhhh . why will so giddy de ? machiam cannot walk . walk alr will faint . zzz . the world is spinningggggggg ~ wheeeeeee ~
arrr i hate my fucking head . i want to chop it off lurh .
my head is pain , my neck is pain , my kunckle is pain , i think im having flu too . )):

10:12 PM

met baby today .
waited for 50mins . =.=''' nvm . im not angry alr . :D then aft that go void deck talk talk smoke smoke awhile , baby go work alr . that waited for him 4hrs+ like that wif his bro . aft work baby bought sushiiiii . x) then went coffee shop sit sit . then things happen . shall not mention . anw , its settled alr . yahs then went baby hse nearby there . i vomited . zzz . i also dont know why . then then his friends bring kfc for us . hahas . but didnt feel like eating . hehs . ate 1 whipped potato . baby so cute lorh . keep kena force to eat . >.< then went some place slack . aft a while his friends went home alr . left me and him . then went to buy cigg .
his friend came back too . surprised urh . hahs . i sit there fold heart fold stars then sort of like never care baby like that dui bu qi . im going to say alot of srys from here on . even though baby doesnt like me to say sry . i cannot think of anything else to say except sry . ahhh . x.x then baby "slp" there on his chair . call him he dont want care also . then got abit dulan lurh . so sit at the side there keep smoke non stop . lols . then felt like vomiting AGAIN , went to the side the grass there . squat there . zzz . then baby walked off . i dont know go where , dont know what happen . so was sort of angry lurh . then cause his bro say he might be at the bus stop or the hse downstairs there . so went to have a look lorh . but he not there . i really thought baby went home and left me there sia . then think till pekchek go punch the pole and the wall . punch till got blood . stupid lurh . i know .
aft that baby came back his hse downstairs . his heart pain i think . i also not sure . sry baby for not showing you concern urh . really very very sry . at that time i only know i was angry at you for pangseh-ing me at the coffee shop . went playgrd sit sit then close my eyes . rested awhile then woke up . saw baby clenching his heart there then xin ruan . suddenly like not so angry liao . become more of worried . went beside him then he held my hand . omg lorh . i was kind of scared sth would happen to him lei . he look so in pain . then i couldnt do anything to help . ): then he cannot breath i also didnt know what to do . hais . im a useless gf . then aft that baby slp awhile suddenly sit up again then i thought he slping sia . then see him sit there never lie down . wanted let him lie on my leg . but he forced himself not to lie down . baby angry with me lorh . T.T then i tried to make him tell me why then my head bang the playgrd stairs . damn pain bodoh . btu baby like dont care like that . sad lorhhhh . then got stomachache also till very jialad . baby also like never care . super sadddddddddd .
i didnt know why he was angry , until his bro left .
baby , i dont like your bro . i love you only . you you you ! and no baby , youre not important . youre very important ! i do care about you . just that when i was walking that time , anger got over me . im really truely sry .
aft that baby send me go bus stop wait for bus go amk hub i take bus home . baby you sick and so tired somemore . i wont blame you for not sending me home . (: anw , at the bus stop that time , missed a bus . i stare at space for very long then suddenly ... T.T haiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis . then baby like not so angry me alr , still hold my hand . but hold till the knuckle there . got blue black and blood . then pain . i bu xiao xin let him know . haiyahhhhhhh . then i say i fall down want . but obviously its not lurh . so i sort of lied to baby . baby sry lurh . i know you dont like ppl lie to you . but i dont want ltr you see liao , you know alr then angry with me marh . sry sry sry sry . baby dont angry alr can ? )):
i know you dont like me say sry . but really sry . when your heart was pain , i didnt care for you . instead , i let my anger took over the concern . im sry baby . this post alot of srys . all saying to you de . i dont want baby angry alr . D: i want baby happy happy de . baby , i want , i hope , i wish . ahhh . i just WANT us to last for a very very long time . even until we get married next time . maybe its abit too far . but , thats what i hope lurh . dont know if it will come true anot . wish that it will bah .
baby i love you . x33333333333333
anw , think you wont be reading this so soon . cause youre slping alr ! baby arh . sick must rest more kay . want me pei you go see doc marh ? baby take care leh . must get well fast fast okay ?! (:
baby dont angry alr urh ? you angry i sad lurh . you dont care me i even more sad . you push me away , im super duper sad . dont like that again ke yi ma ? D: got anything just tell me lurh . i wont fa pi qi at you for nth wan .
baby ily ily ily !!

9:43 AM

Sunday, May 11, 2008

ytd's pics . :D

2:28 PM

okay . today went town wif lani girlfriend ! love love ! x3333333
we met at bunk . i reached 1st lurh . lols . saw alot of ppl . miss them alot sia . so long never see them alr . x.x hahas . saw candy , xiaoleen , babyleen dear , huimin strawberry and my long long long time no contact woshijrjr korkor . x) hehs . then talk talk smoke smoke while waiting for girlfriend . then xiaoleen and candy say benson they all coming bunk . LOL . yahh . then girlfriend came . saw benson they all once inside bunk . then they went dont know where . 0.o then go bunk walk walk awhile , we went off . wanted walk go cine alr . then suay suay ! saw benson they all . wth right ? okay nvm then we went buy donut . THANKS GIRLFRIEND ! for your donut . love you lots lots . then went walk walk . bought a small small piglet then girlfriend bought a small eeyore . hehs . went up arcade . saw bryan , jane they all . then me and girlfriend went off to bugis . so pekchek lorh ! cannot say reason . hahs .
then went coffee shop there meet her brother . the world is so small lorh ! turned out her brother's friend is my sister's ex's brother's ex . complicated . but anw sort of linked together lurh . hahas . small small singapore . exchanged number with them then went simei find korkor . :D reach simei alr i dont know toilet at where . thanks ariel for bringing me . x)
aft that she went bus stop wait for bus i take cab go his house . walao this taxi driver hor , want go back tpy . ask him take me go nearby also dont want . he got money dont want earn . wth . then took this other cab . uncle so funny . but hes nice too . cab fare was 3.80 ask him 3 bucks can anot . he say 3 bucks can alr . so fucking nice lorh . other cab driver sure kpkb want lorh . say no money dont take cab , blah blah blah . then reach his house there . talk talk smoke smoke halfway urh , benson suddenly msg mi . wth . say wad change my maple pw , arbo tio hack dont blame him . zzz . only he and me know pw lorh . if not him i hack my own acc meh ? =.= so aft that i went home .
paiseh carol ! x.x i lazy go sengkang . cause my leg wear high heels pain also lurh . sry sry . nxt time kay ? really sry .
ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh ! my leg so fucking pain . knn . so many blisters . )):
AND ! I HATE MY FUCKING COM . sry if i talk to you on msn suddenly gone . confirm is my com auto restart again . always like that one . dont know why also . zzz .
ohoh , btw , he's finding gf in audi ! omg ! LOL ! guess what ? i dont care ! x)

1:30 AM

Saturday, May 10, 2008

bloody love .

yays ! silent break silent break ! :x for some reason im not sad lorh . at least i think so . idk lurh ! dont want to think about it anymore . so currently , im single but attached ? LOL ! love is BLOODY ! it makes ppl get hurt every single time . love starts out sweet but ends up getting hurt . why is it like this ey ? why cant love be forever , everlasting ? is it so difficult ? its sad lorh . for relationships to end up like that . not gonna fall in love again ! x.x for now lurh . unless a really great guy comes along , then perhaps bah . (:
omg lurh ! its saturday leh ! and im at home ! how can like that ?! ahhh ! i almost every saturday also go out want leh ! D: somebody jio me out !!!!!!!! T.T

1:16 PM

Friday, May 09, 2008

pics with ahkor . :D

3:39 PM

so i found out he wanted to break up . its okay . cause i want to break up too . :D whats the point of having such a bf ? no point eys ? okay anw , i take it as silent break lorh . i dont careeeeeeeeee .
oh no pics yet urh . ah kor havent upload the pics . lols . i shall post pics when he uploads them . ytd went bedok inter there pei ahkor eat . actually is watch him eat . hehs . aft that went tampines safra play pool . damn shit lorh my pool . shitty SHIT . :x
then superboy smsed me with another number cause his hp no money . superboy cheer up okays ? dont like that urh . i will worry wan kays ? anw , i dont think you'll be reading this . hahas .

12:28 PM

Thursday, May 08, 2008

went xiaocao ahkor's hse to ton ytd . talked about alot of things . he , like alot alot other ppl , want me to become guai . i alr very guai liao ey ! only smoke marh . not only i 1 girl got smoke . D: okay so anw , at first afternoon was supposed to go counseling . then they last minute go change the time . zzz . so i went to meet kor first cause he live so near . simei nia ! now then i know sia . hehs . then aft that take cab chiong go st anthonys . aft counselling met kor again , went tampines safra play pool . there the uncle so cute sia ! LOL . oh and ! the food there is damn damn damn expensive . went playground slack slack awhile then went his hse alr lorh . his hse so big bodoh ! hahas . then went there the swimming pool play play . hahas . he wanted teach me how to swim but ever since that time i almost drowned , i scared liao . x.x lols .
and , thanks to all those ppl who ask me to cheer up . i will try to cheer up de . ((: must take time lurh . hahs .

4:49 PM

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

i just found out he broke up with me in audi last night .
does this mean break ? fuck . why cant you tell me directly what you want ? everytime i ask you , u refuses to ans . wtf is this lurh . zzz . i feel like im being played lorh . nnb . machiam i very despo for u like that . not like i cant find a bf if you dont want me lorh ! ): i just dont want to end my relationship just like that . hais .
then ltr going new sch for counselling somemore . sian jitpua .

2:30 PM

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

haiiiiis .
what to do ey ? i dont know what to do . ): i dont want to break with him . but i dont know why is he treating me like that . T.T why must do this to me . i know you wont tell me anything . nvm bah . when you feel like talking to me and be back like before , maybe you'll contact me ? hahs . maybe cause of exams , youre stress bah . i have no idea eys ? why ? cause you dont tell me anything . yes , im sad . but what can i do ? i cant force you to care about me , i cant force you to treat me like last time . do you want to break ? if you want to , i will respect your decision , even though i dont want to break . i'll still be treating you as my stead , until the day , you tell me you want to break up with me . must take care of yourself lurh . i still love you .

10:09 PM

Monday, May 05, 2008

u suck lurhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh !
nbcb .
guys are just pure bastards . ):
most of them .

11:18 PM

hais .
why are you like this ? what did i do ? i did nth wrong eys ? i ask you if you got another girl , u told me yaya . is it true ? i dont fucking know okay . ask you want brk is it , you also dont want reply . then what you want me to do ? fucked up larh . walao eh . cant you just talk properly with me ? i just want to know what is happening . ): is that wrong too ?

12:38 PM

Sunday, May 04, 2008

i havent been slping well since that day . T.T i can slp for 2hrs and wake up for no reason . hais . whats wrong with me .
baby . you havent talk to me for 1 whole day . not even replying my sms . i called you but you didnt pick up the phone . hais . are you avoiding me or sth ? cant you just be like last time ? u used to msg me every morning when you wake up and every night before you slp . but now ? you dont even bother anymore . ):
i told myself to be strong . im gonna be a strong girl . but , im not strong . im also a girl who wants love and care from my boyfriend .
fuck loveeeeeeeeeeeeeee ! x/3
my heart is such a fucking weak body part of mine and i hate it !@#$%^&

12:08 PM

Saturday, May 03, 2008

everytime you leave me alone , my heart breaks once . x/3

friday went chambers wif mingliang and didi . then at night supposed ton with them but i go krislan find my stead then sort of pangseh-ed them . paisehhhh . x.x my hp no batt that day . i thot u all will go in find mi . bee , i doubt u'll be reading my blog anyway . cause you dont have the link . wheres my 1mth present ? D:
baby , you know something ? i slept for only 2hrs . i dont know why . maybe is cause of ytd bah . hais . i just want more care and concern from you . is that too much to ask for ? i just want to know more about you . is that wrong too ? im your girlfriend eys ? u can tell me , so ? since im your girlfriend , why wont you tell me anything ? everytime i ask , u refuse to tell me . hais . i want to know things about you . you are my boyfriend . maybe you think all these are not important . but can you think for me also ? when you dont reply my msges , refuse to pick up my phone , its so hurting inside . you know that cause of you , thats why the blue black is there ? cause u didnt reply my msg , didnt ans my call , i was scared that you would be like my ex , not replying msg , not answering phone calls , and poof ! broke up . i dont want the same thing to happen again . you understand ? i want a long lasting relationship , not those short short ones . im sick of short short relationships . im no longer a hongster , and i hope youre also not 1 alr . or are you still a hongster ? i have no idea .
u gave my kor your word that you wont break up with me . but i dont want to be just your girlfriend in name only . i want to be the 1 whom your heart is with , the 1 whom u can share all your secrets with , the 1 whom you can always go to when youre down and unhappy .ytd , i was so fucked up . i didnt know what is going on . i want to know , but you just dont wanna tell me . so what am i supposed to do ? just act as if nothing happened ? im sorry , i cant . can you treat me like your girlfriend ?
i promised myself i wont cry cause of a guy . again and again , i promised . but again and again , i broke my promise . im so useless . why are those guys that i want to be serious with always make me cry ? when i asked you to promise me you wont do this ever again , u actually said nobody can control you from doing what you want . yeah , youre right , nobody can control you . but why must you do this to me ? why are you treating me like im a nobody to you ?
did i do anything wrong ? if i did , why dont you just tell me ? i rather u tell mi right in my face than like that . bee , i really wonder sometimes , do you still love me ? do you have another girl ? thats why youre treating me this way ? maybe im stupid for thinking this way , maybe you will even be angry at me for not trusting you . but u cant blame me completely right ? the way you talk to me , the way you treat me , its so cold . it really makes me wonder ...
u see me laughing with you , joking ard with you , but do you know deep inside , i have so much questions to ask you ? questions that i know you wont answer at all . but for 1 thing i know for sure , is that i love u and i miss u fucking lot .
im feeling terrible . T.T and bee , u know sth ? the reason why i smoke red de even though i hate it , its cause im stressed up , fucked up , cause of ytd .

6:40 PM

Friday, May 02, 2008

happy 1mth bee . i love u . (:

but bee . can u treat me better ?
can u care more about me ?
i feel like u dont care lorh . hais .
maybe its not u dont care .
maybe is u dont know how to show it ?
i dont know . i dont feel good u know ?
i bet u dont bah .
i cant feel the care and concern u know ?
the way u talk to me . makes me wanna cry . hais .
everytime abit abit then kup my fone .
i dont know whats wrong also . did i do anything wrong ?
yes , i may seem strong in front of u .
but behind u ? do u know ?
no . do u know i feel hurt deep inside ? i dont think so .
im always laughing and playing in front of u .
i look happy in front of u , dont i ?
but bee , u dont know . u just dont .
u dont know , u dont understand , the hurt and pain that im feeling .
the feeling of confused , of wanting to cry . why ?
why are u treating me this way .
i dont know how am i gonna write the card later . ):

3:00 PM