Friday, March 28, 2008
ahhhh .
just pierced my tongue . x.x
cant believe it sia . i thought i wont ever dare to pierce siol . still abit stunned . hahas . went queensway pierce with lani . thanks jane for helping me pierce though i keep screaming . hahas . paiseh urh . i too scared alr . lols .
anw , i cant believe i still miss him lorh . hais . ):
ar short post . dont know what to blog abt . hahas .
3:44 PM
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
its been 14 days since he left .
im alright now , i guess . some ppl are just heartless ppl lorh . help him before , when i have probs did he help me ? at all ? no . hahs . then on msn , keep saying i pester my ex . fuck off . get it ? fuck off . nabei pua cheebye ! im not someone to let you vent your anger on okay . owe me money still wan talk so much . knn . i never even pester you for my money back lorh . _l_
9:38 AM
Thursday, March 20, 2008
i wonder ,
will i wait until the day when he asks me for patch ?
will that day ever come ?
even though i told myself i wont think about it anymore , but everytime i see the piggy soft toy on my bed that i hug to sleep every single day , i will miss him fucking lot . hais . what shd i do ? i wanna wait for him . but im scared . im afraid that i'll be waiting for nth . how ? im scared to love again . ):
anw , these few days keep meeting mu tou JIEJIE . LOL . but my jie is a guy . :O hahas . then that fucker who owes me 15 bucks , refuses to return . he dont wanna on his phone either . walao . owe money dont want return de . fuck lorh . say alr also dulan . ccb .
i miss himmmmmmmm . ahhhhhhhhhh . T.T
12:30 PM
Sunday, March 16, 2008
why did it end up this way ?im feeling super down . i know things dont always go the way we want , and will always have bao ying . but isnt this abit too much ? its too much for me to handle . i dont wanna feel any hurt anymore . i've changed . im no longer a hongster , i dont play guys anymore . just as i became tiongxim , this happened . hais . why cant things be like last time again ? no , i wont force you or what . i know relationship this kind of thing cant be forced .
no matter what happens , i'll be there for you . even though you might not tell me anything , cause afterall , im not your stead anymore . its okay . i accept it . but accepting it doesnt mean that i can just let go like that . its not so easy you know ? though i hope that 1 day , we might patch , but if it wont make you happy , its okay .
i just want you to be happy . if you can find a better girl , go ahead . i'll wish you all the best . because i know , loving someone doesnt mean i have to have him . if youre happy , i will be happy for you too . even if youre gonna stead with another girl and not me , i wont make you come back to me whatsoever . just do what you like and do what makes you happy . i'll be here waiting for the day when you come back to me . if it wont happen , i'll always remember those happy moments with you . those memories will always stay in my heart .
no matter what happens , i'll be there for you . even though you might not tell me anything , cause afterall , im not your stead anymore . its okay . i accept it . but accepting it doesnt mean that i can just let go like that . its not so easy you know ? though i hope that 1 day , we might patch , but if it wont make you happy , its okay .
i just want you to be happy . if you can find a better girl , go ahead . i'll wish you all the best . because i know , loving someone doesnt mean i have to have him . if youre happy , i will be happy for you too . even if youre gonna stead with another girl and not me , i wont make you come back to me whatsoever . just do what you like and do what makes you happy . i'll be here waiting for the day when you come back to me . if it wont happen , i'll always remember those happy moments with you . those memories will always stay in my heart .
2:20 PM
5 days alr . will miracle happen ? ):
i want him back in my life . he even dlted me on friendster . why ?? T.T
what am i supposed to do . i really dont know . can someone teach me ??
10:08 AM
Thursday, March 13, 2008
if only , time can just turn back .
if only , 1 day you'll call me and ask me for patch .
if only , we will be forever .
if only , you didnt break your promise .
hais . i want to be with you again . why cant we be together ? you said your feeling for me are still here . then why cant we be together ? all those no time and you treat me very bad . those are all excuses . if u have no time and you really love me , you can always find time for me . i dont mind going to find you even though we will be meeting for a very short while . at least , we're together . all those lies about you not gonna break with me . u swear urhs ? if u ever break with me i can go ard spreading youre a promise breaker and find how many ppl to whack you also can eys ? hahaha . you know i wont do that . you said i was too good for you . is it wrong to treat my own stead good ? huh ? is it ? if dont treat stead good , what for stead ? stead and treat him bad ? you said you will never ever break with me , unless i got no feelings for you anymore . all lies right ? i chose to stupidly believe you even though i know these promises cannot be trusted . im stupid ? yes i know . im stupid cause of you , cause of love . because of you , i changed from a hongster to tiongxim . and just because my friendster still put hnd doesnt mean im still a hongster . just because im still in hongster never die doesnt mean im 1 . even after we break , you brother still talked to me on msn , saying im hongster and all that . as if he hated me alot liddat . i really dont know what did i do wrong . hais . the things you promised , you broke them 1 by 1 . u said we may patch next time . is it possible ? hahs . no i dont think so . why am i sad ? why am i thinking about this ? i also dont know . i know im fucking stupid to be sad cause of a guy AGAIN . i promised myself not to cry for a guy alr . but ...
i never cried in front of any of my ex when they broke up with me . i only cried after they hang up the phone . but this time , i cried on the phone when he said break . i dont fucking know why . i talked to him while crying . why ??? hais . he wont know how i feel and he wont be reading this anw .
i just want to know what was the real reason for breaking with me . and i want him to know how much i miss him . ):
2:25 PM
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
hais .
really brk alr . T.T i want him back into my life . okay , i know i sound despo . but , i really want him back ! he says he got no time for me . better to brk . whyyyyy ?? will we ever patch back . i really want you back . ): i'll do anything to have you back . all those lies . you said you wont ever brk with me . in the end ? u still broke up with me . your beautiful lies . why cant you keep your promise ?? my life is fucked up .
5:25 AM
Sunday, March 09, 2008
whats happening ?
you normally not like that one . why these few days suddenly never contact me ? at least tell me whats happening ? hais . i dont know what am i feeling now , i just feel very luan inside . T.T can you save me from my misery ?
dear . i love you !!
2:51 PM
can you dont let me go ? not ever ?boyfriend . whats happening ? why are you like so cold towards me ? did i do anything ? hais . why cant we be like last time eys ? waiting for your calls , waiting for you to tell me what time are we meeting . im human too . im a girl . just like any other normal girls . i maybe appear to be strong whatsoever , but deep inside , the hurt and pain im feeling . who will know ? who will understand ? i may not show my emotions out . but it doesnt mean that i dont have feelings you know ? i really want this relationship to last forever . you promised you will never break up with me . however these few days , the way that you treat me makes me feel that you no longer care about me . it makes me feel as if youre going to break with me soon . maybe im thinking too much , you might say . yes , thats possible . have you ever thought why am i thinking too much ? perhaps is because of the insecurity youre giving me ? im scared dear . im scared that you will leave me soon . am i not treating you good enough ? am i not good enough for you ? or is it something that i did ? i know , im being paranoid . but i have a reason to be ! not contacting me ? no reply of smses ? what does it mean ? gives me the idea that you wanna silent break with me you know ? ur call ytd never came . i waited and waited . in the end ? no calls , nothing from you . feel asleep ? perhaps . so who am i in your heart ? how important am i to you ? i have no idea . can YOU tell me ? no ? so im supposed to not care about how you treat me and act as if nothing happened ? is that possible ? you tell me ? you dont know ? i can tell you , no its not possible . why am i thinking so much u may think . why not ? i love you , thats why im thinking so much and so worried . i dont know whats happening . boyfriend , you promised we would go out on friday . why promise me if you cant do it ? i dont want empty promises alright ? i want promises that you can fulfill . can you do that ? i miss you a lot . do you know that ? do you miss me ? i dont know . i can only say i miss you a lot . and i love you a lot too .
5 more days ?
6:31 AM
Saturday, March 08, 2008
okayyy .
so he was slping for 2 whole days . but thats not an excuse for not contacting me . cant he at least tell me or sth ? and yeah anw , he said he gonna call me ltr . from 6+ till now ? call me ltr eys ? call ltr become no need call ? i dont know why . but i feel that he doesnt care about me anymore . perhaps its not how it seems , but why do i feel this way ? i have no fucking idea . ):
5:55 PM
tell urself youre not weak ! youre a strong girl !
1month . will it ever come ...?
4:35 AM
Friday, March 07, 2008
im not happy , not at all ...no reply of smses a whole day ? what is it supposed to mean ? you dont care anymore ? or what happen to you ?
u called your friend to ask for someone's number . what about me ? at least give me a call to tell me youre busy or something ? even if youre really so busy , why cant you just send me a sms ? so difficult ? or does it occupy too much of your time ?
im beginning to wonder . who am i to you ? your girlfriend whom you care about and can share almost everything with ? or just a girl to accompany you when you go out when youre free and dump aside when youre busy ?
can somebody tell me ?
im not feeling good . i dont know why . i shouldnt be feeling like this . but , one whole day . can you imagine ? hais .
6 more days ? hopefully .
4:03 PM
2:15 PM
Thursday, March 06, 2008
was supposed to meet bf today .
but hais . he has parent teacher conference . why didnt he tell me earlier ? why did he tell me we meeting today ? sometimes i really wonder , how much do i mean to him ? am i just someone to accompany him when he's bored ? or am i just a doll ?
i really miss him !
8 more days to our 1month . (:
6:13 AM
Wednesday, March 05, 2008
im bored . im confused . D:
what shd i do ?
go back to sch ? or go find a job ? hais .
shd i stop studying ? i dont think they have enough money anw .
nobody's working = no income .
hais . mayb i shd go work n support myself ?
then just now , my ex ask me for patch suddenly .
i was fucking shocked lurh .
x.x i wanna see my boyfriend !
i wanna hug him and never let go .
omg it sounds so unlike me .
nobody's working = no income .
hais . mayb i shd go work n support myself ?
then just now , my ex ask me for patch suddenly .
i was fucking shocked lurh .
x.x i wanna see my boyfriend !
i wanna hug him and never let go .
omg it sounds so unlike me .
3:36 PM
say morning sms mi also never . x.x
lols . today 2+ then wake up sia . dunno y so tired . hahas . i miss my darling !
yay ! tml meeting him alr i think . :DD
fuck sia . i need money ! T.T
7:30 AM
Sunday, March 02, 2008
bf !
why no reply of sms ? hais . weren't you supposed to sms mi ltr ? ur ltr bcame never ? 9+ finish work n till now no sms or calls . sms you also no reply . ):
3:42 PM
Saturday, March 01, 2008
omg .
i miss my bf alot alot alot . D:
alot days never see him alr lorh ! T.T
miss him fucking lot sia . bf is sick i think . go see doc lurh stupid dear ! ltr worse how ? aiyoooooooo o . sms halfway never reply alr . think slping le bah . rest well okay . i sunday want meet u de okay ! i miss u miss u miss u !! loveeeeeeeeeeee u lurh ! x33
1:19 AM
